Thursday, June 3, 2010

That's not my child.

My children are well-known at our local health clinic and now apparently at the ENT's office. All we have to do is walk in there and they begin filling out the computer info and paper work and then ask which Dr. for which child.
Both Naters and Mr Smiles get weekly allergy shots. I have to call it in every 2 weeks and give a report and then the Allergist sends out the new 2 week batch. If I don't time it right with Ben's shots I end up in the doctors' office twice in a week instead of once.
Our local office is not my favorite place to visit. There is nothing but a tiny TV in what is supposed to be the Children's area. The TV is a good 2 feet above my head and not tilted in the direction that the children below can see (down). They have to climb into the wide window sill and sit like four little ducks in a row craning their necks up at the TV. Naters is really just too short, so he uses the window sill and chairs as a slide and I stand next to him helping him not fall flat on his face from off of the chair. The ladies behind the glass stare or glare at us depending on the level of noise we make.
I've taken coloring books and crayons, books, toys, lap books, you name it to keep them occupied. It does for the first 10 minutes, but after that they are back to the window sill or crawling under chairs or attempting to suck on the door jam on the other side of the fist tank. Yes, that is Naters specialty. He has this thing for floor door stops. I don't know if he thinks they look like lolly pops or what, but if I'm not careful (close my eyes to yawn) he'll be on his tummy sucking on the door jam.
If someone who is actually sick is in the waiting area, I try to avoid them. Then the kids are relegated to the corner with the wheelchairs. This poses another form of entertainment. Wheelchairs move. And the ones for obese people can fit 3 skinny kids on them while the other ones valiantly tries to maneuver them around the room. The problem is that even though they've designed chairs for obese people, they never widened the aisles to get the chairs through. I'm stuck on the floor with my feet acting as brakes telling them to keep the "fat chair" (that's Mr. Smiles politically-incorrect term) in the corner and PRETEND to drive. I would like to pretend at times that they aren't mine, but I have to keep them in at least one corner of the Dr.'s office.
After 45 minutes of waiting to get a 60 second shot, we are escorted back to the shot room. Good Lookin runs to the calls of the nurses "WALK!" Nater Mater waves cutely and blows kisses at the nurses. Precious Jewel, who is 7 going on 16, rolls her eyes and acts all embarrassed, and Mr. Smiles begins asking which toy they have today if he does good with his shots.
We all enter the room to Good Lookin' already raising and lowering the "procedure chair" and hollering "look mom! The legs go really high when you push this button!"
Nater Mater immediately begins exploring every door and drawer. Last week he pulled out some obstetrical model to which Mr. Smiles asked, "what's that for mom?" Mr. Smiles heads straight for the doctors wheeled stool and begins driving it around the room and over every one's toes. Precious Jewel crosses her arms and rolls her eyes.
The nurses have gotten used to us. I bring little goodies bags as thank yous on holidays for putting up with us.
Yesterday at the gastrointerologist the boys and I were shut in a small room for 2.5 hours with nothing but some towels and gowns and such that I promptly asked them to remove if they didn't' want to re-sterilize them. The boys quickly got bored with the toys I had brought along and begin climbing over and under the examining table, into more wide window sills, lining up the 3 chairs to hop and skip over and finally they unrolled the entire roll of paper on the examining table to mummify each other. Thankfully, there wasn't much left on the roll and it only mummified 2 of the 3 boys.
I tried to apologize, but the 2 doctors and nutritionist all smiled (genuinely) and said that if they were shut in a room with 3 small boys that they would probably go clinically insane.
Today was Precious Jewe's ENT apointment and I'm sad to say the nurse immediately recognized us since last time she was called in to help corral the troops who at that time were being just plain naughty. The same doctor who saw Mr. Smiles last time them came in and asked "aren't you missing a couple? How many DO you have?" I quickly told him a friend had offered to watch the 2 older boys so I could converse intelligently with the doctor. Thank you Mary!!!!! He looked rather relieved.
Anyway, we are home again and after 3 appointments in 2 days I am glad to not have to go back until next week.


Suzanne said...

I feel for ya. You are so much calmer than me. By the end of Dr's appts I'm sweating and frustrated beyond belief. I'm certain they are blowing crazy gas into the room just to see if I'll hit my limit.

Soaring High said...

Some days I leave near tears and other days I just don't care. = )